Added: Dec 22, 2011
From: OurPeanutGallerie
Duration: 13:56
[I've literally been trying to upload this for over 24hrs. Shoot me.... or kiss me, if it works!] He did it. It was extremely difficult. But, he did it and I couldn't be more proud, more relieved and more respectful of his ability to control himself and behave in an appropriate manner. Perhaps that sounds demeaning or belittling; but, had you seen the flying chairs, smashed glasses and my own face that became the canvas for his rage to slash - you, too, would have genuine awe and pride in him this time as well. He spoke his RIGHTEOUS anger with appropriate fury, angst and heat but without crossing boundaries or even having to carry it to a level of a raised voice that felt intimidating or threatening. Sure, he was angry. He was hurt. Betrayed, abandoned - witness to a crime to a loved one....but he felt no need for retaliation or for brutality to others. He didn't wish to haul any furniture, harm another creature, hurt himself, harm one of us, nor even lash out at Stefanie just for someone to be mad at. I cannot imagine being dissociated from the body during this, feeling as helpless as anything, as he watched.... -- watching my body...his younger sister...who was extreeeemly frail [underweight] - be just out of his grasp (as if we were real though or something - now that we think about it).. But, to still feel like you 'let' her tumble down with such violent force onto the concrete and closet door... and only able to do NOTHING. The helplessness, the sinking roller-coaster ride, having to stand there must have felt excruciating. Then, the trillllllions of things that must have went through his head the minute she hit the bottom (the shock leaving him not even to consider the reality of "if she's dead, I wouldn't be able to think right now either"...} No, at this point of shock, thoughts like these are way, way, way too far away at the point. I' m certain he was praying she move a limb, open an eye, the blood to stop spilling, something -- anything -- for it to be better. He would have done ANYTHING to help her. Their relationship is unmatchable. He didn't even wish to attack OUR attacker. He JUST wanted to help her. He's a noble man. I thank him. We owe him so much; and we owe Kyle so much more. I didn't know, or would've taken your place in a heartbeat. It is be*cause* I think of you all as family that that my honour, the valor, my commendable remarks toward you, that are "supposedly" to be counted toward myself as Kristie since 'we're all one person'....but, bullshit to that I say! Bullshit. God was smart when he split this mind up. He knew that you, David and Kyle, and the rest of us would care about each other as a family network farrrrrr more than we'd ever care about ourselves individually. .......so He gave us a sibling that we'd even give our very own LIFE for; and guess what.....? I guess that ensures we stay alive, doesn't it??? .....smart lil turkey He is, there..!! But, I genuinely believe without this separation, we wouldn't have made it this long. We all truly believe that toher insiders will go very far and have an important life to live beyond all of this, and we could NEVER hurt the body permanently if we knew it'd cut their life short....no matter how much we hate our own selves. I'm just glad you're both alive, fought through the hardest things in therapy and have lived to tell this story -- even if I know there are hundreds more to go :( I don't know what I'd do without either of you two!! I love you. **Submit questions to: blacknwhite.color@yahoo.com ....or, via Tumblr: carving-backbone.tumblr.com (Kristie) 30heartsbeat-inside-onechest.tumblr.com (full-system blog) **For a continual dash of hope, encouragement and things that uplift from the softer, more gentle side of life - visit/follow *this* page of ours: delicatedreams-fragilefears.tumblr.com ~please just ask -or visit prior videos- for any other insider's blog URL's!~
Channel: People
Rating: 5.0' max='5' min='1' numRaters='11' rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#overall ( ratings) Views: 225 Comments: 17
Azkabelle1609 Says:
Dec 23, 2011 - You are in fact, the most inspirational person i have ever seen 3 thank you -Yu
larico2007 Says:
Dec 23, 2011 - You have such a wonderful message to give to the world. So heartbreaking and vital and pure. I've bookmarked this video and titled it 'strength'. Thank you for your heartfelt words.
CoalButterflies Says:
Dec 23, 2011 - I love you and thank you, /so much/, all of you. I have such intense pride in caring for you guys. Thank you for being so strong.
OurPeanutGallerie Says:
Dec 25, 2011 - you know we love you too dollface, so very, verrrry much. that will never ever change.
OurPeanutGallerie Says:
Dec 25, 2011 - wow. thank you. this comment here and *your* words have moved me and made me feel a little tougher - a little more able to face the day. thank you for sharing that with me. my love is with you. 33
OurPeanutGallerie Says:
Dec 25, 2011 - oh my, doll. i'm so very glad to hear that you think so, but i'm MOST happy that you stumbled upon this and could take something from it. and, i'm grateful your mind and heart were opened enough to let some of it in. :) 33
OurPeanutGallerie Says:
Dec 25, 2011 - thank you, and of course darling. love to you 33
OurPeanutGallerie Says:
Dec 25, 2011 - @Flyaway3861 awwwww 33 so much love being sent your way. I am so very glad to know that you're able to take something from this and are open to hearing its messages. i wish you all the best that is out there in your own journey to discovering any other diagnoses you may have or how your mind works. please know my love and care are with you :)
gofigure1221 Says:
Dec 29, 2011 - wow. i am so inspired by you. thank you thank you thank you. i needed to watch this video today. keep fighting, keep working at it, you are amazing.
DymADozen Says:
Dec 31, 2011 - Pride is beaming from my pores for all of you.. really, I feel a sense of awe at what has been accomplished and the strength of David and Kyle and all of you. And Kristie, YOU, Kristie, You deserve the applause too. I feel the most attached to you of course because I have known you longest and best of any. I'm always so proud of you, your strength, courage, integrity, all of that stuff you shrug off. I LOVE YOU. 3
DWJourneyMan Says:
Jan 2, 2012 - I am not sure what I can say, that would be anything you haven't heard before. Only that I am extremely proud, awed and inspired by your videos. You are amazing people. All of you. May the grace be given to continue the remarkable work you do to wellness once more. To put behind you, that which burdens still, others. Be at peace and know that you've friends, people on here, that genuinely care and wish nothing but the best for all of you. Thank you for sharing your life with all of us.
OurPeanutGallerie Says:
Jan 5, 2012 - I'm not even sure that WE have the adequate words now in response. Thank you. Thank you very deeply and truly. It is encouragement and enthusiasm like yours that makes this channel not only worth the vulnerability, but worth any negative feedback from the snarky internet trolls that I risk by not putting these on private. Thank you infinitely; we hope to continue making you proud as we get ourselves feeling a little better physically and able to add a few more videos soon3
OurPeanutGallerie Says:
Jan 5, 2012 - you know that we alays find it nearly impossible to reply to all the wonderfully uplifting things that you always have to offer us. You're such and encouragement and such a wast reason why we continue to keep pushing forward. We're also so excited knowing the number of excellent questions you've been asking us and hope that as soon as we're physically well we'll get to answer a LOT of them a once in a video(s). Your support and love means everything 33
OurPeanutGallerie Says:
Jan 5, 2012 - It's comments like these that make every ounce of vulnerability it takes to put yourself out there 100% worth it!! I am so soooo grateful to know that you were able to take something out of this lift yourself up! Even if you've encountered struggle since seeing this, I'm still here believing in your strength looking on in admiration. Knowing that someone ELSE is willing to try and keep going tells me that I CAN'T give up. I HAVE to be there to cheer them cross the finish line!!
CuriosityRocks Says:
Apr 18, 2012 - Thank you for being so beautiful : )
. . . . . . . because these video appear directly from youtube.com which we cannot control it.)
nicrendesigns Says:
Dec 22, 2011 - Very inspirational. Thank you for sharing.